Keeping it going

Still posting every day so far. This one will probably be relatively short because it's going to be tomorrow by the time I finish up.

Anyway, my roommate Chris wanted me to write this down, so I will include it here: he wanted me to mention how Irish and English pubs specialize in advertising (all over the walls, on huge mirrors, etc.) things that they don't have. Beers, whiskeys, etc. Why they do this (and why this is acceptable) is beyond me. I don't think you'd go to any other kind of bar and see that they were advertising a beer that they didn't have and never intended to have. Especially when pubs tend to have larger beer selections than other bars.

Posted by a man who pretty much stopped drinking over 6 months ago.

I also am giving myself a mental reminder to write about our future Freakonomics-type study that - if done right - would make us billionaires. But that's for another day.

As we left the bar tonight, some drunk-ass girl walked up and tried to bum a cigarette from my roommates. When that didn't work, she asked us to "start a new conversation" because she wasn't enjoying the one she had just been in. And so Matt began, "Grape Nuts are neither grapes nor nuts. Discuss."

Her reply was some stupid gobbledy-gook which led to her saying that she was lactose intolerant. And this is where it got interesting. She said, "I'm a WHITE person that's lactose intolerant!!! I mean, ASIAN people that are lactose intolerant - that's fine. But I'm a WHITE person that's lactose intolerant."

Now, I'm not exactly sure what that all was supposed to mean, but had I had my shiv on me, I might have thought about helping her become a bad-ass. Hmmm - I suppose that warrants some more explanation.

In the time-honored tradition of guys having ridiculous debates, the three of us were trying to determine whether being stabbed in a fight made you a bad-ass. Matt (and Chris, to some degree) was of the opinion that, no matter what, if you got in a fight and ended up being knifed by your opponent, you were a bad-ass simply because you could tell everyone about how you were stabbed.

I, on the other hand, contend that that is more or less saying that being mugged at knife-point automatically makes you a bad-ass, which, of course, isn't true. I believe that one has to have a post-being-stabbed fighting response to be a bad-ass. For example, I get stabbed in the ribs, and my response is to beat up the other guy with a knife sticking out of me.

This led to further "bad-ass" scenarios that don't need to be repeated at this time (most of them involving some sort of stabbing yourself to prove how little being stabbed means to you before continuing the fight). Right.

Point being, we decided that - if we were those types of guys - we could go around stabbing people simply to let them become bad-asses. Thus, my offer to make the stupid lactose intolerant girl into a bad-ass. Which brings us to the moral of this post:

Stupid people shouldn't drink alcohol. Unfortunately, stupid people DO drink alcohol quite often, and that is why - on a general level - it is good that I don't carry a shiv.

Coming soon: a post about how appropriate it is to share conversations that would just make my parents worried and/or disappointed on a blog that nobody but my parents would ever read.