Dear Time

Dear Time,

Man, there is never enough of you to do the things I want. For example, right now I'd like to do my part and write a post for my blog. On the other hand, I'm also ridiculously tired and need to get some sleep (and want to as soon as possible). So what should I do?

Lack of Motivation says, "Just go to bed, CVT."

But then Practice responds, "What about everything you said to me in that letter? Do your words mean nothing? How can you forget that so soon? You dirty, little . . ."

And I'm forced to bow down to my pride and try to push on by composing a new letter. And it's not like I don't have anything to say to you, Time. In fact, I have SO MUCH to say to you, it's pretty daunting. This might have to be a multi-part letter that is completed in separate installments.

I think this one will deal with your relativity. And when I talk about relativity, I'm not talking about Relativity, as in Einstein, but just how you seem to move faster and faster as I age. Come to think of it - that IS similar to the way Einstein meant it. But that doesn't matter. Moving along:

As I see it, every year seems a little bit shorter than the year before it (or faster, whatever you want to say about it). And I think that's pretty consistent, whether I'm "having fun" or not. So when I try to think about why, it seems that it would come down to relativity. The fact that, compared to my total amount of years lived at any one time, a year is shorter for every new year I live. Did I word that correctly?

In other words, as I finish off this year of my life, the year I just lived will be equivalent to 1/27th of my total life span. Thus, it will FEEL like 1/27th of my life. Now compare that to the year that had just passed when I turned SIX. THAT year was equivalent to 1/6th of my total life, and it FELT LIKE THAT. Because it was. So - each subsequent year lived is equivalent to less of your life, in relative terms.

And THAT is why time seems to go by faster as one ages - because every minute, every hour, every year is LESS TIME (in relative terms) than the one before it.

Now, I'm not really going to do all the math (although now I'm sorely tempted), but that works out to the fact that, in relative terms, I'm probably already past halfway through my life (assuming I get to die of old age). In YEARS, I may be only a third of the way through, but in FELT-TIME (relative time), it's been so much more. Because one year to a 4 year-old is so long. And one year to an 80 year-old just isn't. If we really want to break it down and say it all works in literal proportions, a year to an 80 year-old feels the same as 18 days to a 4 year-old.

If we want to compare my current life to that of my brother, this upcoming year I will live will be equivalent to 392 of HIS relative days. In relative terms, I get almost 30 extra days this year. One WHOLE MONTH. For my students, this year will feel like 704 of my days - almost TWO years for me. That means that I will watch two 8th grade classes move on to high school before I know what it feels like to spend the amount of time it takes ONE of those classes to get to the podium.

My last example: my students feel like my classes last FOREVER and are SO BORING because they last for the equivalent of almost two of my hours. I don't really know if I could sit still for two hours, either.

Is this making sense? Does this explain why people have so many issues with you, Time? It's not that young people are more impatient than older people, it's just that their time is lasting longer than older folks' time. A 40 year-old can wait for ten minutes for a bus without too much issue. And an 8 year-old can wait two minutes and feel the same. The amount of you they are waiting for the bus is equivalent, in relative terms. But make that 40 year-old wait 50 minutes for a bus, and we're going to have some problems. Same thing if you make that 8 year-old wait 10 minutes.

So, you see - different behaviors exhibited at different ages are actually much more attributable to the difference in FELT YOU than people might think. And maybe much less to maturity, and the like. A hungry 4 year-old is going to throw a fit if he doesn't get some food in the next 7 minutes, and I'm going to throw a similar fit if I wait 49 minutes.

Do you see? I don't think I really need to go on (even though it's fun to work out these calculations). I think it's pretty clear now. You, my friend, are much less cut-and-dry than people like to think. If people would think more in terms of relative time when dealing with people of different ages, it might just close down that so-called "generation gap" a little bit and foster understanding.

Next you I write, I will try to find an explanation for why you become so much more precious when I am driving a car. But that's for another day.

Now, it's you for me to get some sleep. Which brings up the question of - if you are proportionally relative to age, how come older people need LESS hours of sleep as opposed to MORE to compensate for the difference in relative you?

Wow. That's deep. Faux deep.

On that note, goodnight.

CVT