Dear "If Only"

Dear "If Only,"

Hey, man - what's up? I was hoping I wouldn't be seeing you for a while, but I've seen a lot of you recently. Not always a bad thing, of course, but sometimes, man, I just wish you wouldn't come around.

You have a tendency to make a bad situation a lot worse, you know? When I start thinking about you, it only makes me more frustrated about something that can't be changed and leads to worthless regret. "You I just ran straight up field instead of trying to juke." "You the Sharks had scored on that shot instead of going down by two goals." "You I had more money." "You the winters didn't suck so bad here."

Your presence very seldom represents a positive thing in my life. But it's so hard not to fall back on you when some dumb bad luck happens. There's always at least one little thing that - if done differently - could have avoided a bad situation. On the other hand, the same thing probably applies to any good situation, and I don't invite you over when that happens. So maybe it's just on me - if I'm going to hang out with you during the frustrating times, I should hang out with you on the exciting days, as well - celebrate with you and appreciate what I got. It's not really your fault. I suppose if I switched it up to "You I had decided NOT to go work at camp, I never would have made the friends I did or ended up getting a job I enjoy." And that's true. And definitely flips the script a bit.

So that will be MY mission: to balance out my time with you. I'll spend less time with you when I have some stroke of bad luck and spend more time with you during the good. The weather's supposed to be pretty nice this weekend - you want to come over for a barbecue? I'll throw it in your honour and think about all the little things that have worked out for me that easily could have gone the other way. And there's a ton more of those than the negative.

So, yeah - I definitely would have enjoyed going on a bike ride or a walk on this beautiful day today, but at least I got to see the sun. It's amazing what a good dose of "Everything happens for a reason" can do for a man - I should probably write her a letter soon.

Alright then. I have a feeling I'll be seeing you a few more times in the coming days, but I'll do everything I can to make sure I invite you over for some good times, as well.

Head up,
CVT