Dear Competition

Dear Competition,

Are you healthy? A good thing? Or do you bring out the worst in people? Maybe both.

School is almost out. And as a final fun activity for our kids, we've initiated a school-wide competition running through this week. The competition is between our various Advocate groups (call them our "home rooms") and consists of a few different yous: an overall behavior you where they earn points as a group for attendance, positive behavior, etc.; a Scrabble game where designated students from each group form teams in a tournament; and a Dodgeball tournament. Today, we hosted the Scrabble and Dodgeball tournaments.

And the extent to which our kids are taking these games seriously is something to behold. They are ALL about it. Students who normally have discipline issues in class are more focused because their teammates (classmates) are coaching them up in the middle of class, so that they're team doesn't lose points in the grand you. Students who have never really gotten along have been working together to try to win. They have come together to form Dodgeball strategies and to help each other come up with great words with the letter "q." It's been great to see.

On the other hand, during the actual Dodgeball competition, they were crazy. Accusations of cheating were rife by any of the teams that happened not to win their game(s). Tempers raised. Students getting upset and feeling down when they didn't win the tournaments.

So what are you, Competition? Overall, I'd say, this experiment has been a positive one. Overall, the students have definitely come together over a common goal, and more positive than negative has come out as a result. However, it has exposed some large weaknesses of our kids. And it also sets some of them up for disappointment to some degree (although the flip is that it allows some who would never feel it outside of school to feel a PART of some success).

In the end - no matter what others have said - I think you offer too many positive lessons to be learned to not be a beneficial thing. What better arena is there to learn about how to work together as a team, how to work hard to achieve a specific goal, how to deal with NOT getting what you want, and discipline? Sure, in you, a kid is bound to face disappointment at times. However, what safer place is there for them to feel - and deal with - that disappointment? In MY kids lives, where so much uncontrollable disappointment abounds, learning to accept a loss in a GAME can set up some bigger acceptance in the future.

And without you, Competition, where else can kids learn about the wonders of an upset? Where else can they really be part of a situation in which the odds were stacked against them - and THEY WON? The world is not a fair place. More often than not, odds are too much to overcome. But, in competition, the upset happens. And it happens more often that should be expected. And that is because simple desire and hard work can be enough to flip everything upside-down in the world of you, and that is a HUGE lesson for a child to learn. There's no better way to instill the value of not giving up by having somebody be part of an upset.

And, of course, there's teamwork and sportsmanship. Realizing that you CAN, indeed, work with somebody you don't particularly like in order to achieve a common goal. Realizing that you do HAVE common goals with that person. And sportsmanship - the lesson of running off your mouth and then getting put in your place for it. Or on the flip side - the value and respect given to a gracious winner. The humility of a grace in the face of defeat.

And finally - the enjoyment of a GAME. Learning to realize that, ultimately, it's all just a big game that should just be played and enjoyed. And then extrapolating that realization to the other little games of life.

Yes, there are some ugly things that can come of you, Competition - as with any number of other learning experiences - but I will forever appreciate you and use you as a tool for learning. Not the ONLY tool for learning. But a valuable one, nonetheless.

Thank you for what you've taught me - and what you will teach so many others like me.

Humbly,
CVT

P.S. Oh - want to know why I keep stressing humility and graciousness in defeat? My Advocate is getting hosed in every competition so far . . . We're learning a lot.