Dear Teacher Training

Dear Teacher Training,

So, I went to a you today. A full day of guest speakers and little workshops meant to help teachers become better at what they do. To sum it up, let's just say that the picture(s) posted with this letter are the most productive thing I got out of my day.

Because the thing is this, Teacher Training - you are a spoof. A farce. A joke. It's like some ridiculous satire making fun of the teaching profession and the way in which our public school system chooses to spend its money on "professional development." Granted, a few useful tidbits were gleaned from the whole day, but nothing that I couldn't have gotten from an hour on the internet (or less).

So why am I being so rude to you, my friend? It's not entirely your fault, I guess. But let us allow our Reader to be the judge.

It all begins with PowerPoint presentations. Now, if you've ever sat through one of these (which I hope, for the good of humanity, you have NOT), you would know how ridiculous these things can be. When PowerPoint presentations were first brought unto this planet, they were heralded as a wave of the future. A way to turn lectures into multimedia extravaganzas. And they could still be that way . . . if the people making use of the technology had any creativity whatsoever.

But it turns out they don't. Instead, PowerPoint has been turned into the slideshow of the 21st century. I might as well just sit in on Uncle Herald's hour-long vacation slideshow complete with monotone than believe that a PowerPoint presentation is EVER going to be dynamic. And that is what the ENTIRE DAY consisted of. Hour after long-ass HOUR of PowerPoint slideshows.

Actually, let me backtrack a moment. PowerPoint presentations are actually WORSE than slideshows in terms of creativity and interest. Because the majority of these freaking presentations are actually just bullet-point LISTS of EXACTLY WHAT THE PERSON IS TELLING YOU. Sometimes, it's really just a paragraph that the presenter is reading from. I mean - are you f-ing kidding me? And then they provide you with the slide printout to "read along" with the presentation, effectively eliminating any last vestige of a reason for actually sitting through the whole damn thing. Now do you understand why I call it all a farce?

Okay. I'm settling down again. Anyway. So it's hours of crappy presentations. And that's the beautiful thing. The most fantastically satirical clownish element of the whole joke: this is all happening at a YOU, a TEACHER Training. We go to this thing to learn all about better ways to reach our children and make the classroom a more effective learning environment - and how do they show us? How do they convey this priceless knowledge? With f-ing PowerPoint slideshows and monotonous lectures. There is no DOING. There is no MODELING. There are few real examples (and if there are, we certainly don't get an explanation past seeing it on the screen on PowerPoint). Basically, every piece of common-sense GOOD TEACHING that we know is completely IGNORED as these people tell us how to do our jobs better.

I'm almost choking right now.

Does it move you close to tears, as I am right now? It should. The minds of our futures are in the hands of a system that happily pays out its little money to keep the clowns marching while the elephant pulls the Big Top down on our heads. So, so sad.

So how do I flip this to make it a positive thing, as I am often able to do with these letters? I don't really know. There was ONE good presenter that I saw, who shared in the bashing of PowerPoint and actually conducted real activities and modeled good teaching. That's positive. How many people chose to go to that particular session? Six. Six of us. In a training that was big enough to necessitate renting out the entire Coliseum and its conference rooms, SIX people went to the only workshop that wasn't garbage. At least it existed, though. I commend you, J.J. Isaacson, for being the change I want to see in the world. If only there were more of you in the world of teacher "professional development."

And I suppose your heart is in the right place, Teacher Training. You had something to say. Something that, perhaps, not all teachers are aware of and need to know. I will give you that. But why do you have to do such a piss-poor job of bringing it to the masses? How can you not see that you have allowed yourself to become a joke? Something so ridiculous and unbelievable that it wouldn't be funny in a movie or tv show because nobody would buy it?

Oy vey. I'm going to plotz.

Right. I don't know that there is anything else to say here.

Thanks for the sandwiches and orzo?

Defeated, but not yet Lost,
CVT

*By the way, the drawings are of my bored coworkers having their life essences drawn out of them by the dark forces of PowerPoint. I tried to do something, but by the time I got to them, they were already gone . . .