Dear Can't Be Funny All The Time,
You you. I you. We all you. You know?
It doesn't particularly surprise me that (mostly) nobody had anything to say about my last letter. My Reader has come to expect hilarious - or light-hearted, at least - fare from my keypad, and that was not the fare I brought yesterday. Oh no - I brought some f-ing fire, instead. Was that fair to do to my Loyal Readership? Perhaps wi, perhaps no - but I did it nonetheless.
Because the thing is this - I you. I just can't. Sometimes, I've got to get all riled up about something and say my piece. Even if it sort of sidelines a large portion of my readership (i.e. "white people"). Not to say that that was who my little letter was aimed at, but still. For those that were bothered by that whole tirade, I have a secret: I share a lot of commonalities with white folks, such as a white parent. Really. So don't get so upsot, man.
Because I you. I know, I know. It's ever so shocking. The CVT you? That hilarious, nefarious, teetering-on-the-precarious-edge-while-giving-all-a-vicarious-thrill, as-genius-as-Stradivarius pill, the CVT? Yes, even me. I you. And I'm going to give the reasons for this outrageous shocker right now.
First - there are times when I get tired. My job is quite taxing mentally (and physically, to a certain extent), which tires me out. Tired people aren't as funny as non-tired people, in my humble opinion.
Second - there are times when I am hungry. I like to eat food. A lot. And part of that is because - when I am hungry - I get ridiculously low-blood-sugared and can't even make a decision, let alone anything else. When that happens, I definitely am not funny.
Third - outside of times the first and second, I can get riled up and cranky or frustrated. There are all sorts of things that make that happen. Mostly, it's a result of stupid people choosing to have their stupidity affect my life directly. Other times, it's a-holes doing the same. Then there are the ignorant people . . . Oy vey - don't even get me started on that one. Point being, a lot of things put me in a less-than-hilarious mood at times. And then I'm less-than-hilarious.
Fourth - sometimes I'm asleep. I don't think I'm that funny when I sleep.
Fifth - I have a job that requires I be serious sometimes. Not ALL the time (which is why I chose it), but sometimes. And it's very difficult to be funny while being job-required serious.
Sixth - sometimes I daydream and miss things. If I'm not paying attention, it's difficult for me to respond and say something timely and witty.
Seventh - when I'm showering, brushing my teeth (which I don't do as often as others), or using the bathroom, I'm not generally funny. Maybe it's because I'm otherwise occupied. Maybe it's due to the serious nature of all of those things. But I'm just not that funny while I do those things (or other mundane, ritual activities).
Eighth - when I'm coughing or swallowing, I can't speak. Although I have some pretty hilarious facial expressions and gestures in my repertoire, it's still quite difficult to be funny while I do those things.
Ninth - sometimes, other non-funny things happen. The types of things range from one end of the spectrum to the other, but there's no room for being freaking hilarious when non-funny things are going on.
Tenth - once, I had a nightmare where I was trying so hard to be funny, but everything that came out of my mind was just not funny at all. It was horrible. I seriously wanted to cry. When I woke up and realized that it was just a bad dream, I was so relieved, I almost wet myself. Thank God that was just a dream.
And that's about it. That's why I you. All the rest of the time, I can be. Because I'm like the Einstein of well-timed remarks. That didn't make a whole lot of sense, but it's okay, because I'm both the First AND the Second right now. So I'm going to get some food in me.
That's all. Carry on with your life.
Moving Right Along,
CVT
2 comments:
This is an interesting post, because I, as you know, CAN be funny all the time. Like ALL THE TIME. That's when I am funny. Constantly. All the time.
Unfortunately for me, my job, specifically, is to NOT be funny all the time. In fact, I am expected to be downright morose for the duration of my professional production on a day to day basis.
It's hard, waking up funny, and then having to depress yourself in order to work well.
It sucks.
HA HA!
i am generally most funny around certain people and when i am most comfortable, then I am like a stand-up comic. Many don't get the benefit of seeing that side unfortunately, most see the stressed out serious side.
I worked in a dental office for my first job. I have learned the art of smiling instantly in order to appear lively and happy- dentists want people to see your teeth if you work for them (unless your teeth are nasty, and then they want to fix them, then have you smile for everyone while they hold up the "before" pictures.)
Duality is good.
Since The King claims to be funny ALL the time, I won't say anything negative about that, cause I like him, he posts regularly and does seem to have a pretty wicked sense of humor with the underlying levels of sarcasm that really add flavor. I appreciate that as you know, and am not afraid to use it myself!
Really, at the end of the day, people need to appreciate your multip[le layers. Would you be as funny if there wasn't a keen, deep, insightful, wisdom to you? Sure, maybe you would have shopping carts full of "knock knock" and "so a ______ walks into a bar" type jokes and punny humor. But I think true comedy comes from places much deeper than that. Do not fear your own depths and layers, or apologize for them. Everyone knows the results os diving in shallows- if people want the kiddie pool that is their choice. I prefer volcanic lakes and oceans.
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