Dear Social Life

Dear Social Life,

I could have a you if I wanted to. A grand one. Full of late nights, laughter, ridiculous exploits and people spilling things on me. Oh, the fun we'd have.

If I wanted to. But that turns out to be the issue. Because I don't particularly want that kind of you. Sure, I want friends. And I've got them. I enjoy laughter. Anybody who knows me in my most recent incarnation as a camp carnie knows I'm all about the ridiculous exploits. And, now that we mention it, one of those ridiculous exploits DID involve somebody spilling water all over me.

But.

But.

But I'm not so down with the late nights. And I'm not so down with the common interpretation of what a you means. Because, mostly, I kind of hate bars. Here in Portland, they still haven't pushed through the non-smoking laws, so I generally come out smelling disgusting, and feeling equally so. I'm also not the biggest fan of loud music and dim lighting, and the need to lean in close to somebody yelling "WHAT!?" to carry on any semblance of a conversation.

I don't know. Must be something wrong with me.

But this is something I figured out recently (well, actually - I had it figured out a long time ago, but not the wherewithal and proper friends to make it work on a regular basis): I can have a you AND go to bed relatively early. It's something a lot of young people aren't familiar with, but may catch on if I spread the word. I call it "Daytime." That's right - "Daytime." Some of you may have read about it. Others may have even participated in it from time to time. But I have perfected its use as a form of having a you.

For example - it turns out that one can see friends during the "Daytime." Crazy, right? Yeah - all you have to do is call a friend during said Daytime and ask them, "would you like to hang out now?" When they agree to do so - you're golden. Next thing you know, you're spending time together, laughing, possibly eating food or sipping drinks . . . And you can SEE it all because there's this huge light on the whole time (some call it the "Sun").

And get this - you don't have to just hang out with any one person. You can call multiple friends and bring them together. You can eat a big lunch. You can go someplace.

And all this makes me wonder - whoever came up with the idea of the modern night-life? I imagine it originated way back when and involved prostitutes and/or criminal activities. And since dark, shady dealings are so intriguing, more and more people started getting involved in late-night socializing. Next thing you know, a you becomes synonymous with the "Night Life."

And I acknowledge the importance of night-time. I do. I'm just not entirely sure why people feel the need to wait until it kicks in to socialize. Call me crazy, but is there any reason people can't be drunk and obnoxious during the day? Can't people wear special little outfits for each other in full light? This one time, I saw music played loudly during the day, and people still enjoyed it.

Now, with all this sarcasm just splashing out onto the page, you'd think that would mean I am being what they call "bitter." But, to tell you the truth, I'm not. It kind of makes my day to wake up early on the weekends and have the morning to myself to do with as I will. I do get frustrated at times when I want to hang out with people, but they won't do it until late. However, these days I have tended towards friendships with people who are not afraid of daylight.

I WOULD like it if music or shows took place during the day. But you can't make everything perfect.

So here's to the you that ends at 10pm on a weekend, Social Life. To early breakfasts with friends and ending my social day with a nice, long dinner. To feeling rested and having little trouble adjusting to the weekday schedule. All while having more social options now than I did a year ago. Basically, to being a crotchety old man at the age of 27. And totally cool with it.

Happy with a Bedtime,
CVT