Dear Tentative Results

Dear Tentative Results,

It's been close to a week now. Six days of owning (and using) my new Light Therapy Lamp (as well as my dawn simulator). So what do I say so far? Has there been any noticeable difference? Is it still too early to tell? Here are my you for the first week:

First - the methodology. We already know the materials/equipment. And the hypothesis (that it will change my world). The methods are simple. Every morning when I wake up (after a quick trip to the bathroom and some food preparation), I spend a half hour under my Lamp. RIGHT under it. Shining at an angle towards my eyes, about 18 inches away. I tend to read up on the college football news of the day, check my e-mail, eat - that kind of thing. All the while I'm soaking up magical light rays. Then I go to school (or wherever, depending on whether it's the weekend or not), and I see how I feel.

Now, it's been ugly and rainy most of the days since I got my lamp. There has been a little sunlight, but not much. And it has been dark upon my awakening these weekday mornings. Not to mention it's already dark right now (about 7pm). And it's only going to get darker.

Point being, though, that the lack of sunlight this past week helps to lend strength to the you of this initial week of experimentation. If it had been sunny, there would be no point writing this letter. But it hasn't. And there was (a point).

Now - the data/you. Granted, most of it is anecdotal, but the data is as follows: I'm in a pretty good mood right now. I've been relatively energetic at the end of the school day. Last night, I was kind of antsy and move-y at this same time. There's been little to no school-related stress going on for me (in spite of the fact that it's currently grading time). I was social this weekend and able to actually be friendly to some new people. Waking up in the morning hasn't been too difficult. And once I'm up, I'm positively AWAKE. I've been playful with the kids and even their craziness hasn't gotten to me this week.

The you? I'd say it's working. For real. It's early yet - I know - but it seems too obvious. Yesterday, after a full school day and more from having to do grades after school, I ran a little shopping errand. It was pouring rain and dark, and the sales clerk ended up screwing up the whole process and having to start all over again, which caused my time at the register to take well over 20 minutes. But I was fine with it. I even laughed at the manager's stupid jokes. I was in no hurry. I just rolled with it, took my purchase (when it finally went through) and headed out into the rain. Without my Lamp, I'd imagine I would have written some letter of "Dear Stupid People" or something similar.

So I'd say my mood is improved.

But I understand these are only you. Not infallible results. It's based on a lot of subjective measures. But I still think it's true. We won't know for sure, of course, until some time in February - but the you definitely give me hope. The winter here may be survivable.

That doesn't mean that I won't complain about it, of course. Not at all. And that doesn't change the fact that I should probably move to a sunnier clime. But it will make it all just a little bit more bearable and make it just a little bit more likely that I'll do something productive with my time during the dark days of winter. And that's a great thing. Hope is a great thing. And that's what you have given me, Tentative Results. And I'll take hope however I get it.

So thank you. Thank you for turning the winter into an intriguing experiment over the end of my productive/social life for half a year. That's the glory of the you I am experiencing. And I just hope that it stays this way.

Looking Forward,
CVT