Dear Anticipation

Dear Anticipation,

I get really excited about playing my Sunday morning football games. I mean - REALLY excited. I look forward to them all week. I find myself thinking about them the night before. Half the day on Saturday I am thinking about how I wish I could just have my game(s) on Saturday, so that I could just go ahead and play. I need the exercise. And the competition. And the contact. And everything else. I just really enjoy playing football (whether it's real-deal tackle or just with flags on).

So this morning, I ended up waking up an hour earlier than planned. Not too shocking, considering my last letter and the significance of this particular Sunday. But that has been a whole extra hour of you, Anticipation. Eager, giddy you that rivals any you I have felt in the past. Because what am I really supposed to do to pass the time this early in the morning? Football is not on tv yet, so I can't watch that. It's too early to go out and do something. I'm too energized and jazzed-up to just sit and quietly read or draw or anything like that . . . What can a boy do?

Nothing but bide time and watch the clock slowly move towards "Go Time." And I have to say that you most definitely makes that time go slowly.

I am so ridiculously antsy right now. I'm trying to think of clever things to write - and a lot of them - so that I can get into the flow of writing this letter instead of thinking about my tortuous you, but it's not working. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am writing ABOUT you while trying to write something to get my mind off of you. That may have merit. But it seemed like a good idea, anyway.

I mean - what better way to make use of nervous energy than to write a letter to the producer of said nervous energy? If I am going to be thinking about you for the next 20 minutes, anyway, I might as well be making something productive out of it, right? I think so. I think so.

And I do appreciate you, Anticipation. I really do. Because there have certainly been times in my life where I felt like I didn't really have a whole lot to look forward to (in a short-term sense), and it was kind of awful. Just feeling like I was in a rut where a lot of things were happening and moving me forward to nothing exciting. That's a TERRIBLE way to go about moving through life - believe me. And so I am happy to have some nervous energy due to some you of fun things ahead.

Another reason I am so excited about playing is because my various injuries of the past (see "Dear Knee") have taught me that age-old lesson that nobody ever really listens to until after the fact: it's hard to truly appreciate anything until it has been lost. So the fact that I get to go out and run around on my knee is an exciting thing, indeed. Indeed.

Of course, as I write this, I find myself thinking about the possibility of "jinxing" myself as I talk about how much I look forward to this and appreciate this, etc. It feels like I am just BEGGING for an injury today. And that may just happen (if I were to predict one, I'd say pulled hamstring). But if it does, that's okay, because I'd much rather hurt myself playing than doing something else (stupid or otherwise). And if I DO hurt myself, I hope it's while doing something cool (like returning an interception for a touchdown).

All that said, I have successfully passed enough time to warrant wrapping up this letter and getting myself geared up. So thank you, Anticipation, for getting me up early and writing my blog entry now, so I don't have to worry about doing it later. Because later, I expect to be lying around icing something or complaining about soreness.

About to Get Hurt in a Cool Way,
CVT