Dear Power Tools

Dear Power Tools,

I really could have used some you today. Just some. I didn't even need a lot of you, but I could have used some. Yup.

See, I decided to do a little bit of woodwork today. Well, I actually decided to do a little bit of woodwork YESTERDAY, but I acted on that decision today. Because today is Veteran's Day, and that's the kind of thing a man should be doing on Veteran's Day, right? Yeah.

Anyway, I recently decided that it was time to just bite the bullet and invest some of my saved money in some real audio recording equipment (see "Dear Professional Studio Equipment" or something like that - I'm too lazy to figure out exactly what whom it was addressed to). After hours of research, it occurred to me that the extra equipment I would like to invest in would take up space. Space that I did not really have, due to a cluttered desk, messy room, etc. And so I decided that a real clean-up was in order, and I spent a large portion of this weekend following through on that need to clean.

But I got to a point in my cleaning where I realized that just cleaning wasn't enough. Sure, I could stuff my extra crap in various nooks and crannies, but that kind of thing was what had made it all so messy to begin with. And so I decided that I would make myself some extra storage to maximize my space and keep myself organized. I took some measurements of some of the last real usable space I had and off to the Home Depot went I.

An extended shopping trip later (slowed by impulsive side-trips to Best Buy - for a power strip - and a shoe store), I was ready to go - all the wood a man could need to build the shelving unit/side table that I had planned. Of course, I wasn't quite ready . . .

Another extended adventure later (highlighted by getting new tires for my car - because I spun out on the highway yesterday - and watching a movie with Gate), and I was ready to go for real.

And I set to it like nobody's business. But this is the thing: I have no you. Not one. We used to have a whole collection of you that we had purchased all together, but they had proven to be pieces of crap, and they have long since died. And so I was left with a hand-saw, a screwdriver, and a mallett (that's right - not even a real hammer). For some reason, I had thought we were better equipped than that (hence not buying an f-ing hammer at the hardware store). And it only got worse.

Because it turned out I had bought screws that were too short to be of any use. The only other screws I had were a bit too long and too wide (which ended up splitting the wood). The nails I had at home were mostly sufficient, but not long enough for some uses. And, of course, I was trying to hammer those nails with a mallett - meaning anytime I messed it up, there was no pulling the nail back out. Plus, a mallett just isn't designed for hammering nails. Nope.

So I ended up building the worst side table/shelving unit ever. It's such a piece of crap. None of the legs are on straight. The wood is split. Everything is crooked. Some of the nails are knocked sideways with no way to pull them out. And it took me two hours to make (when it probably would have taken half the time or less with a couple of you). There's nothing more frustrating than trying to hammer in nails with a mallett because the screws that I was using (and screwing in - slowly - by HAND) were too big and ruining the wood. And then knocking the nail sideways.

It almost would have been worth the price of some decent you to avoid this ridiculous mess. Almost.

Except this is the thing: the table works. My crappy, piece of sh- table works. It has provided extra storage within a limited space. It's standing, and it can carry the weight of the objects I have placed on top of it (and on its shelves). And that's all I needed. If I had put some more love and care into the building process, it could have been quite a bit prettier, but I don't really care. Because it has served its purpose.

And so, although I really would have liked to have some you while building my table, it wasn't necessary. Not to say that I won't daydream about you next time I have a little project (which may be soon, because I have one last spot where I'd like to put some storage). But I was able to pull off a functional table without you. The old-fashioned way. And that's not so bad. Really - considering my lack of you and lack of an f-ing HAMMER to boot - I think I did pretty damn well.

So there, Power Tools. You may make my life a little bit better, but I don't need you. And that's good to know, deep down.

However, I wouldn't complain if a few you came my way in the near future . . .

In a Clean Space,
CVT