Dear Unexpected High

Dear Unexpected High,

Wow. Feels great to have you around right now, Unexpected High. A very pleasant surprise, indeed. I feel really good - and for no apparent reason. And that's super-cool with me, dude. So super-cool that it got me wanting to write you a letter (after a relatively long letter-less spell). So here it is.

The thing is this: last week I wasn't feeling so hot. Not terrible, but not good. Definitely not good. A little bit bad. And I'm not really sure why. It would seem that - after a nice little vacation to a land of sunshine (Phoenix, Arizona) followed by a short school week - I should have felt quite good. Better than I had before I left. But it didn't really happen that way. And I don't know why. It could have been that my sleep patterns got messed up. Maybe it was the lack of competitive exercise (because I skipped my football game that weekend to be in sunlight). Who knows. But the fact of the matter was that I ended up not feeling good.

I was a bit tired-out (even though I was going to bed early). I was sleeping terribly. I kept waking up. I had nightmares. I was feeling all stressed-out and anxious about school in a way that I really just haven't felt in a long, long time. It wasn't fun. I felt beat up and non-productive after school. Even though it was all nice and sunny out here in Portland, I was a little bit down. Surprisingly so. And I had no idea what to do about it.

And it came to a head last night. I played three more games of football (my last three of this particular season - not ending in the happiest fashion). I was excellent, but my teams were not. And now my season is over, and I don't get to play contact football until next fall. And so I was all beat up and tired and hungry when I came home yesterday. I ended up lying around a bit, and I slowly started feeling even more down. It didn't make sense - I had just played a bunch of football. Out in the sun. I had had only a three-day work week. But I was down.

The evening ended up on a positive note, but I was still a little bit anxious about my school day. So when I came in today and got all planned and ready to go, it didn't seem like the best sign that a last-minute call-in of a sick day by one of my co-workers came in. Especially since it made me need to change up my plans, leaving me stressed and running around unorganized and slightly unprepared when the kids came in. It had all the appearances of another rough day.

But it wasn't. There were some rough spots, but it wasn't awful. It wasn't great, though, either. And any positive I had gained from my not-awful day seemed ready to go away due to the fact that it's the last week of term, and I have grading to do (which adds a few hours to every workday this week). And I had to grade a bunch of quizzes that I hadn't gotten to yet. And I had to call a bunch of parents. And schedule some post-suspension re-entry meetings for a few of my advocates. And one of them has gone missing, so I was trying to track him down. And I had kids staying after school to make up missing work. There's more, but I don't feel like listing all of it. In a nutshell - there were a million stressful things to do for hours after school today.

And I did them. And I did my grades (not all of them, but a chunk).

And then the strangest thing happened - I got an you, Unexpected High. I got this crazy rush of good-feeling running through me. Just pure positivity and a feeling of "the world is a great place." I was excited. And smiling. And eager to get home to do all sorts of productive things (make music, write this letter, maybe draw a little bit). I was inspired. Exhilarated. And all so unexpected.

And I'm still not sure where the Hell you came from. But you're still here. And I kind of feel like you're going to be with me for the rest of the week. And I can't explain why or how I know that - but I'm pretty sure it's true. And it's the best feeling in the world. I just feel absolutely terrific. Like I could write the best song ever right now. Or fly a popsicle-airplane over a sea of pink lemonade. Or both. Ooh - what if I was flying a popsicle-airplane with my mind while playing the electric guitar and rapping right before I took a splash-down in a pink lemonade sea for a refreshing drink?

Well, whatever that would be like - I feel like that right now.

And I really appreciate it, Unexpected High. It's such a great feeling. It's so much more exciting than just feeling good through the Winter when I normally feel like crap. Sure - that's an unbelievably wonderful thing, but this you is even better because of the contrast with the immediate past. It's like pulling free of a mud-hole that I was afraid was going to pull me under only to realize that: "That's not mud - it's PUDDING!" And then diving back in to eat the loveliest multi-layered chocolate pudding in all of the land before enjoying a large, refreshing glass of chocolate milk (and I'm not talking about no f-ing QWIK chocolate milk; stupid chocolate rabbit).

I'm all jittery and leg-shaking as I write this because I am anticipating the amazing creative things that I might do soon. And it makes me want to share my most recent musical creation. One that I am not sure if I'm finished with or not, but I want to share, nonetheless. Because of you, Unexpected High. I want to share myself with the world. And so I shall.

Thank you, Unexpected High. Thanks for hiding behind my desk and jumping out at me at the most surprising moment possible. Thanks for turning anticipated fatigue into flying popsicles and lemonade. Because that's awesome.

Thinking That Some Electric Guitar Is In Order,
CVT