Dear YouTube

Dear YouTube,

So I just pulled myself away from the computer after watching a bunch of you videos for the last half-hour to 45 minutes. Waitaminute. How can I have pulled myself away from the computer if I'm writing this letter? ARGH!!!!!

Right.

Anyway. Getting myself back on track. I pulled myself away from some you videos. To write this. Which is at least - seemingly - more productive than watching ridiculous videos on the computer. I think. I mean - it IS more productive to create something that OTHER people waste their time on than to waste time on somebody ELSE'S creations, right? Yeah. That makes sense. I'm just going to go with that.

So along those lines, I just wanted to write about how addictive you are, YouTube. And how incredible. You makes the most idiotic things popular and widespread. After watching a couple videos, I have realized that any jerk with a video camera and a stupid idea can get themselves known by a thousand strangers. All by just putting it up on you, YouTube. And that's pretty amazing. And kind of inspiring in a nauseating sort of way.

For instance - I finally got around to watching some video clips from "The Flight of the Conchords." For those that don't know, they're two Kiwis that filmed a show that consists mostly of spoof-y music videos. People had been telling me about them for a long time - saying how much I'd probably like them and how their songs kind of reminded them of the crap I make - but I had refused to watch. Mostly, because I don't want to see anything people compare to what I do because I'm not in the business of watching other people do what I do much better than I actually do it. And that's pretty much what these guys do.

It's not the songs, really. I mean - they are clearly much better musicians and singers than I am. Of course. But their lyrics are hardly impressive. But what they do well is the VIDEOS. Their flare for the visual blasts anything I write out of the water with a cannon the size of the Statue of Liberty. I was jealous. I mean - I had thought about getting a video camera and making some funny "music videos" for some of my songs, but watching these guys just ended that idea. No need to do something that other people have already done (and done better than I will).

But to get back to you, YouTube - these guys would be more or less the slightly-better-known Kiwi versions of the local cover band if it wasn't for you. Simply by being put on you and having word of mouth do the deed, these guys are now known by smart-a** twenty-or-thirty-somethings nationwide. Maybe worldwide. I'm not sure. But the point is that people know about them. Because of you, YouTube. Because of you.

And, mostly, I think that's a great thing. It gives all sorts of random people a shot at becoming known without having to resort to "selling-out." Like that band that did that treadmill video and became famous for it. I forget what they're called, but I bet anybody could find them in about five minutes by typing in "treadmill video" on you. Get what I mean? I don't even know these guys' names, but they are making money now because of their exposure on you.

It's really quite an amazing phenomenon. Great in a lot of ways, but also terrible in terms of losing chunks of life watching ridiculous sh--. With all the "Related Videos" on the side, a quick venture to watch a specific video (in this case, a Japanese gameshow that involves people being "Human Tetris" pieces) can quickly turn into an hour lost on a bunch of random videos that are mildly related. Some of it worth it. Much of it - not.

Therefore, this letter isn't quite a letter of thanks or appreciation. But neither is it hate-mail. It's just an acknowledgement of your existence and the excessively large role you play in the shaping of modern pop culture. And for that - I commend you, YouTube. I can't even remember what people did back in the day when there was something cool they wanted to see on video but didn't own (and wasn't available at the video store). Quite similar to "what did people do before the internet for answering random questions."

The answer? I don't know. Probably nothing.

Wow. I ate a bunch of slightly sugared dried mango slices about half an hour ago, and now I'm sugar-crashing something fierce. I apologize for the terrible end to this letter.

Wooooooozzzzzyyyyy,
CVT